


In the Daylight We'll Be on Our Own

by plinys



Category: Rush (2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:50:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're something more than a one night stand, but less than friends with benefits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Daylight We'll Be on Our Own

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brodeurbunny30](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brodeurbunny30/gifts).



When they’re doing this it makes it easier not to think about the next day, about the race that they both have in the morning, the cameras that will be focused on them looking for speed and the rivalry that they all hold so dear.

Sometimes he wonders what the press would think of they knew the rest of the story, how their power struggle flourished when they were off the race track.

The fight for dominance, the push and pull that he had become so familiar with that it feels second nature to thread his fingers through the curls at the nape of Niki’s neck and pull him towards him, for their kisses to be a mix of hot passion, rough touches, and something that could almost be mistaken for fondness buried underneath it all.

Though it is so hard to find that he often forgets about it, caught up in way too cold fingers skate across his flesh, the wet stick and slip between them, the push and pull as layers hit the ground without a second's attention paid to where they’ve fallen.

James wouldn’t call what they have a romance, not of the real kind.

They’re bitten off curses, bites, and scratches.

Running each other raw, and enjoying every desperate second.

Voices mingling in the air, grunts of passions, and little bits of German that James could never really make sense of, but he sometimes tries to, because while he'll never admit it in the light of the day, he's a bit sentimental. 

When they started this a drunken night years ago when they were sharing a London flat, they had both meant it to be one of those forget it in the morning romances, the type that James was used to, that he prided himself upon.

Things don't always go according to plan, something James should have been well aware of.

He should have known that he could never have just had that with Niki.

Not with the way Niki's mere presence drove him up the walls.

Niki always made things more complicated.

He changed everything, probably without him even realizing it.

And James would never give him the satisfaction of knowing just what he did to him on those lonely nights, though some part of him must have already known, perhaps even felt the same, for why else did he always come back.

It was due to him that their relationship had accidently becomes more than a one night stand, but less than friends with benefits.

Some way for them to deal with all that pent up stress and tension and loneliness.

They’ve been getting conjoined hotel rooms for so long that nobody questions it. So long that he’s certain at least half the other racers know, anyone who’s been unfortunate enough to get the room next to his has no doubt heard the slamming of furniture or the little noises Niki makes when James bites against him lips or grabs his hips just a bit too tightly before slamming into him. They might have even heard the beautiful breathtaking noise he makes when James finally manages to get him to come down off his high, collapsing against James.

It’s a noise he wishes he could hear on repeat time and time again.

Watching somebody come undone has never been quite as an exhilarating experience as it with Niki, if he pays careful attention he can see the exact moment where the walls come down, when he too gives in and a hand threads into his squeezing tightly before pulling him up for a kiss, mutters of “bitte” and “danke” that James pretends he doesn’t understand.

In the darkness of the night they cling to each other, bodies fitting together naturally, barely inches apart, soft kisses in the moonlight as if they don’t have a care in the world.

James tries to live in the moment, because he knows that the moment doesn’t last.

The first light of morning will shatter every illusion he has, but still James holds on.

He tries to tell himself that he knows that this is something they only do in the dead of night, something for stress relief, and maybe sometimes when he’s feeling foolishly romantic he kids himself into believing that it could be something more.

James thinks about trying to stop with the flirting and the casual fucking every formula one groupie he meets, but he knows no matter how many times he’s tried before he’s never actually succeeded.

If he tried now he’d just fail and laugh it off as something that doesn’t fit his life style.

Then there’s the voice in the back of his head that bitterly reminds him that even if he could settle down, Niki’s married. 

Still, as the daylight begins to come through the cracks in the curtain and Niki like clockwork rises at the first light of dawn, he imagines a different life where that could work, where they could work.

James has always been desperate for more than what he actually had.

Now he watches as Niki stretches forward the muscles in his back pulling taut, the barely muttered German as he moves around the room collecting the things that had fallen the night before. Niki retrieves the boxers that had been tossed over the hotel’s lamp with a small grimace before slipping back into them. A damn shame that is. Before he knows it Niki’s putting himself back together, frowning into the hotel’s mirror and the dim lights and looking more perfect that he’ll ever know, James would tell him, but he’d never believe it.

“Do not sleep all day,” Niki says quietly, his eyes meeting James’ as he turns back to the bed, the act of being asleep clearly not having fooled him one bit.

“I won’t,” James replies, “we’ve got a race, remember. I can't win if I don't show up.”

“Ah but,” Niki remarks sarcastically, “you’re barely even a challenge.”

Their usual banter is lighter. Softer in tones to what it will be in a few hours, after Niki has walked the track and checked on his car, after James has somehow managed to pull himself out of bed and dealt with his pre-race jitters. Then they will clash with raised voices and arrogance and _‘asshole’_ and _‘rat.’_

Perhaps that’s why he’s so unwilling to let this go, that’s why he speaks up already knowing the answer, “why don’t you come back to bed?”

Niki sighs, the same familiar sigh and says, “not today, James.”

 _Never today_ , is what they both hear instead. 

He always knew the answer, because the daylight will always be their breaking point, where everything fades away.

So he rolls back over burying himself in the blankets, unwilling to watch as Niki slips back through the door linking their hotel rooms, though he cannot forget the click of the door as it shuts behind him, reminding James that he is once again alone.

 


End file.
